thebeautifuldaughter:

inej ghafa lives a largely hopeless, violent life and turns into a creature of blades and shadows in order to navigate it but abstains from murder in the hopes of achieving some semblance of holiness, as if her faith could offer her some reprieve from the filth she’s been forced to live in, as if her family dead or living could feel her devotion and be called to it, and she was born to hold knives but hates it about herself because it opposes everything she believes in, and the most important person in her life currently is a man who represents absolute and utter faithless brutality which she fights against despite her bond with him because she refuses even to let kaz brekker make her something she doesn’t want to be. but then he’s in danger with no way out, and the only way to save him is to bury a knife in someone’s skull in a church, a direct collision of faith and reality, and the guilt torments her. how will she reckon with her sin? how will the saints ever forgive her? what hope of redemption now does she have from a life that she didn’t choose? and then she sits down next to a living saint, who is whispered to be a woman of purity and sunlight, who is the opposite of inej’s grime and shadows. and the saint smiles and gives her a knife.